Weight - A Big Issue

1.9.15

For as long as I can remember I've always worried about my weight.

I mean I've never been the skinny girl, I've never managed to fit into size 10 or below in clothes, but should weight really bother me that much?

At school, I was always called fat. I didn't let it bother me as much as I was very active and I was a typical teenager eating junk food in moderation with friends. So why has my weight started to bother me now?

 


 
At my heaviest, I was about 14 stone and only 17 years old. I got way too comfortable in a relationship that I didn't see the problem with my weight. When the relationship ended, it was like I came out a trance. I knew I didn't look great and I didn't feel great. So I started to lose the weight and I was just under the 12 stone mark.
 
Over the years, my weight has hovered between 10 and 12 and a half stone which has been fine, as I don't eat a lot of junk food, my only weakness is fizzy juice and crisps (in moderation).
 
The last few weeks, I've just felt horrible about myself. Worried about how I will look on holiday, scared in case Calum may no longer find me attractive, etc. So I weighed myself. And boy, I was not expecting to see what I saw! I'm back at 13 stone.
 
I literally locked myself in Calum's bathroom and cried. How the hell have I managed to put all the weight back on?! I know some of it is being comfortable in the relationship, but God, I never realised how much..
 
So eventually I came out and spoke to Calum about it. He was very supportive and told me (as always!) I'm beautiful but if I want to feel better about myself, go for it, and he will do it too.
 
But, if you know me, I hate the gym. Two years ago, I went to the gym 5 days a week for about an hour or two at a time trying to lose weight and get fit. I had a personal training plan that I stuck to religiously. At this point I think I was 12 stone and I wanted to get down to 10 stone. But for the year that I done that, I lost no weight what so ever. I even changed my diet and went on long walks. I was really disappointed.
 
I've now decided to go long walks, swimming and fitness classes. Hoping this will end the battle of the bulge. I'm also looking into clean eating.
 
I know I will need a lot of will power to get down to 10 stone again, but I think its at least achievable!
 
*please note all images are from Pinterest*

 

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